8th May 2026: Boat Crash, Plane Crash, Economy Crash 😽

Morning yessirs. Big week on the rock. This issue:

Kettle on. Let's get after it.

You know things are getting serious when the Chamber of Commerce starts using the phrase "worst economic decline in a generation" and nobody laughs. The island's economy shrank by 7.4% in the two years to March 2024 — worse than the UK's peak drop during the 2008 financial crisis to put that into perspective — and around 1,000 jobs have been lost from financial services, e-gaming, manufacturing and tourism combined. The Chamber has launched a campaign demanding election candidates actually set out how they're going to fix this, rather than just mentioning it in passing during a Tynwald question. Next is closing. Vino closed. An Indian restaurant in Peel is closing. A worrying trend.

The election's in September. Candidates are taking note. Or at least making noises about taking note, which is adjacent to the same thing. Maybe we can become a giant data centre to power the looming AI dystopia. Sheep on treadmills. I should probably run for office.

Tyson Fury, the man, the legend, has confirmed he's fighting Anthony Joshua later this year. It's done. Signed. Netflix has it. Both promoters have posted the same thing at the same time on social media, which is as official as it gets in 2026. The fight has been six years in the making, twice postponed, derailed by retirements, a car accident, and them just generally refusing to get on with it. It's expected in Q4, probably at somewhere vast like Wembley or Croke Park. Fury's comeback earlier this month — a comfortable points win over Arslanbek Makhmudov at Tottenham — seemed like a bit of a mismatch but a necessary warm up. Now the real one's on.

Joshua has only fought an MMA star and Jake Paul in recent years so the warmup fight in Saudi Arabia in July makes sense, which I guess if he loses would derail the whole thing. But I choose to believe it's happening. It's a shame they didn't agree to the fight when they were both at their absolute peak, but it's still going to be a historically huge fight. If you're rooting for Joshua there's a boat in the morning.

For those following the ongoing saga of Ramsey's most photogenic new beach feature — the La Malouine is still ashore between the Arches and Queen's Pier, and the next realistic shot at getting her off is around 16–17th May when the tides are finally as high as Snoop Dogg at Thanksgiving.

A first refloat attempt the night after she grounded failed. Professional salvagers are now involved. Skipper John Kerr was spotted on the beach doing what any self-respecting Manxman would do in the circumstances: having a go at digging her out himself.

The La Malouine has a backstory worth knowing. She was built in 1959 as an East German ice-breaking tug, later converted into the elegant brigantine she is today. John's father Roy bought her at auction after she'd been abandoned in France, spent over a decade restoring her, and lived aboard until his death in February this year. John inherited her two months ago. The anchor chain then snapped in an easterly on night one in Ramsey Bay — partly because the harbour had no room for her — and here we are.

It is truly a cinematic looking spectacle on the beach, and some people may have possibly indulged in the odd joke at La Malouine's expense, but in all seriousness we do hope John manages to get his late father's beautiful boat back on the high seas soon where she belongs.

After 25 years on Strand Street, Next is shutting its Douglas doors this summer. Along with twenty-three local jobs sadly. Next wanted to renew its lease, but only at a reduced price the building's owners described as "not commercially acceptable." Kelproperties says Next would only agree to pay a third of the previous rent (I might try asking for a 66.6% discount on mine next time it comes around). What's not in dispute is that it's another gap in the Douglas high street, which is really starting to collect them. Two large retailers are reportedly sniffing around the unit, which is something. If you need a gilet or some new bedsheets you better get down there quick.

Last Sunday at Ronaldsway, a light aircraft's undercarriage collapsed on touchdown, causing it to slide off the tarmac onto the grass beside the main runway. Operations were brought to a halt for a couple of hours, but no one was hurt, praise be to Manannán. The only crew member was the pilot, who was safe and well after a particularly rough day at the office. The aircraft was eventually towed off and both runways reopened by mid-afternoon. The sea rescue boat got excited for a minute but then remembered the plane isn't in the water, and if it was, it still doesn't have a crew.

Oie Voaldyn on Bank Holiday Sunday in Peel was a roaring success! The May Day Eve fire festival drew massive crowds to the beach, with the metaphorical armies of Summer and Winter battling it out in a torchlit procession featuring fire spinners, a community choir, about 160 costumed performers. A squad of 30 Shetland Vikings sailed over just to join in, and it was the busiest it's been in years. Organiser John Shakespeare called it "an amazing community celebration of things that are really Manx." He ain't wrong. The Shetland lads apparently made quite an impression — organisers joked online they could probably be found raiding "a pub near you." Watch out fair Manx maidens, don't become the first thrall since 800 CE.

Dr Alex Allinson, Ramsey MHK, former Treasury Minister, and the man who got the Assisted Dying Bill through Tynwald, has confirmed he won't be seeking re-election in September after 10 years in Manx politics.

In that time he held ministerial posts in Education, Enterprise and Treasury, championed affordable housing, wanted to clamp down on zero-hour contracts, and backed decriminalising cannabis — so one of the more interesting people in the room at any given Tynwald sitting. He was let go from the Treasury job just before January's Budget after falling out with the Chief Minister over policy.

He's candid about the scorecard: housing stalled, healthcare stalled, some things he'd have done differently. He's going back to serving the community as a GP instead, but says he wants to see the Assisted Dying Bill get Royal Assent before he goes. Whatever your politics, ten years is a proper stint. Ramsey's going to need someone good to replace him.

🎭 Legally Blonde — The Musical (Sat 9th – Sat 16th May, Gaiety Theatre, 7:30pm) — Local theatre doing Legally Blonde. Elle Woods, pink, the whole thing. Great fun night out.

🎸 Lost in Music: One Night at the Disco (Fri 8th May, Villa Marina Royal Hall, 7:30pm) — Exactly what it says. Go in your best outfit. No apologies.

🎸 Hinako Omori Live (Fri 8th May, Erin Arts Centre, Port Erin, 7:30pm) — Atmospheric electronic and ambient music from a genuinely brilliant artist. Port Erin on a Friday evening is never a bad idea.

🎸 Ian Prowse and the Fiddle of Fire (Sat 9th May, Erin Arts Centre, 7:00pm) — Folk-rock, storytelling, and almost certainly a very good time. Ian Prowse is the real deal.

🎭 Rushen Players: Visitors (Thu 14th May, Erin Arts Centre) — Just outside this week's window but worth pencilling in now.

🖼️ Follican — UCM Graduate Exhibition (Sat 9th – Fri 15th May, Villa Marina Arcade) — Local students showing their creative work. Support the youth.

🎭 Gaiety Theatre Tours (Sat 9th May, 10:00am) — If you've never been behind the scenes at the Gaiety, this is the one. Victorian architecture and a trapdoor under the stage used for apparently making ghosts appear. The Corsican Trap. On an island full of odd things, it's genuinely one of the oddest.

Got a nice photo of the island? A thought you want to share? Send it to [email protected] and we might just feature it.

That's your lot for today yessirs. Stay warm, watch who's campaigning for what between now and September, and keep an eye on that Strand Street unit — there might be a second Wetherspoons on the cards.

See you next time.

— The Daily Tail 😽